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A truly Happy Person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
And, one who can enjoy browsing old cemeteries...
Some fascinating things on old tombstones!
Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903--Died 1942.
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.
In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no place to go.
On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102. Only the good die young.
In a London, England cemetery:
Here lies Ann Mann, who lived an old maid but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767
In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
The children of Israel wanted bread,
And the Lord sent them manna
Clark Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.
Silver City, Nevada:
Here lies a man named Zeke. Second fastest draw in Cripple Creek.
On a Coal-miner:
Gone Underground For Good
On a dentist:
Stranger tread This ground with gravity. Dentist Brown Is filling his last cavity.
On an Auctioneer:
Jedediah Goodwin Auctioneer Born 1828 Going! Going!! Gone!!! 1876
On a waiter:
Here lies the body of
God finally caught his eye.
April 10, 1902
1787 - Jones - 1855
Here lie the bones of Sophie Jones;
For her death held no terrors. She was born a maid and died a maid. No hits, no runs, and no heirs.* (* errors)
I put my wife beneath this stone
For her repose and for my own.
Death Valley, California:
Here lies the body of poor Aunt Charlotte.
Born a virgin, died a harlot.
For 16 years she kept her virginity
A damn'd long time for this vicinity.
On a hypochondriac's grave:
See. I told you I was SICK! Littleton, Colorado
Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood:
In Memory of Beza Wood Departed this life Nov. 2, 1837 - Age 45 yrs.
Here lies one Wood Enclosed in wood One Wood Within another.
The outer wood Is very good:
We cannot praise The other.
In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon him for not rising.
In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake, Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.
In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
Here lays The Kid, We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger, But slow on the draw.
A lawyer's epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange. Here lies an honest lawyer, and that is Strange.
John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
Reader, if cash thou art in want of any, Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.
In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.
Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont:
Here lies the body of our Anna, Done to death by a banana. It wasn't the fruit that laid her low, But the skin of the thing that made her go.
On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
Under the sod and under the trees, Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there's only the pod, Pease shelled out and went to God.
THIS ONE IS EXTREMELY WELL WRITTEN:-
In a cemetery in England: Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, so shall you be, Remember this and follow me.
To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone: To follow you I'll not consent, Until I know which way you went.
On a tombstone in Boothill Cemetery, Tombstone, Arizona:
Here lies Lester Moore Four slugs from a 44 No Les, No more
Here lies Jason Calhoun (1840-1885) He was a ruthless prosecutor Whose only mistake was insulting seven men, When all he had was a six-shooter.